TCF Rogue Valley Chapter ~ Reading Room

A weekend to remember

by Mary Fyre, TCF, Medford, OR

I recently went to my first TCF Conference in Portland, OR. I was hesitant to go and it had never really occurred to me to go before this year. It was within driving distance and I have family in Portland so I thought if I were ever to go, this would be it. I was nervous about it, afraid 3 days of what I thought would be grief and sharing grief might put me back in "that" place I don't want to go. After talking with a fellow TCF member I decided to go and immediately sent in my money and reservation.

I originally was going ride up with my husband, but his plans changed at the last minute and I was left to go alone. This turned out to be just fine because I was not alone. I was with nearly 1100 other people just like me. I was never uncomfortable or lonely. People in the same situation and with the same feelings surrounded me and I met and visited with people from all over the United States, Canada and even England. No one was a stranger. I had a button made of my son's picture and proudly wore it along with all the other parents, siblings and grandparents.

I was so moved by my experience, I wish I had gone sooner and would recommend the experience to anyone. I came home with such a good feeling, because I realized that for the first time in 5 years, I just spent a weekend with Chance, my son. Just Chance and I and about 1100 other people but for me it was just Chance and I. I also thought a lot about my brother who was killed by lightening at the age of 16, 47 years ago. It was like he was there too. Someone spoke about the last time your child or sibling or loved one dies is when no one speaks their name anymore. My Mother passed way 11 months ago and I realized I was the last person alive who would speak of my brother, Lee. I wrote his name on my back for the Walk to Remember along with my sister, granddaughter, great granddaughter and the son of one of the many new friends I met in Portland. She could not walk asked me to "take her son with me".

It was truly a weekend to remember for me and I cannot thank the TCF National committee enough for all the work and effort to give this wonderful gift to us.